Buradayım
Gör beni
Ben Güneş’im
Gör beni
LAKOTA Doğan Günü Selamlama
Şarkısı ( Kızılderili Bilgeliği )
********
Gölgedeydi Güneş.
Serinliğe bırakmıştı kendini, böyle daha asil olabilirdi. Bütün düşüncelerini ıssızlığa terk etmek istiyordu. Böylece herkesi yakan, kavuran ateşi artık kimselere zarar vermezdi.
Sakinliği bulacaktı, huzuru…
Gölgede uyuya kaldı bir süre sonra. Allah’ım ne dinginlik! Uyurken ne kadar da özgürdü. İşte orada, hayat, Dünya kendisine gülümsüyor. Yaklaştı Güneş. Hayır, olamaz, etraftaki nesneler ne yandı ne de kavruldu! Sevinçle gülümsedi. Hiç bir şeyi umursamadan Dünya'da kendine bir orman seçti ve koşmaya başladı. Rüzgarı hissediyordu. Bir çocuğun uçurtmasıyla süzüldü sonra gökyüzünde. Bütün çocuklar el çırpıp onu alkışlamaya başladılar.
Sonra Kızıl tepeye gitti. İki sevgili, her akşam üzeri olduğu gibi tepede oturmuş gün batımını seyredeceklerdi. Güneş’i görünce şaşırdılar.
- Şey… Biz senin gidişini seyretmeye gelmiştik. Sen buradasın!
- Evet… Tanıyorum ben sizi. Her gün sizin buraya gelişinizi izliyorum. Ayrı yerlerden içinizdeki bitip tükenmeyen heyecanla burada buluşuyorsunuz. Nasıl özeniyorum size bir bilseniz! Ay anlattı… Geçen akşam ben gittikten sonra burada, yıldızların altında birbirinize söz vermişsiniz. Bu aralar gökyüzünde bu konuşuluyor.
Genç çift utangaç gülümsediler. Sonra kız sevgilisinin elini tutarak konuştu.
- Evet, söz verdik. Sadece ve sadece birbirimize inanıp, birbirimizi seveceğiz. Daha önce söylediğimiz yalanlarla yeteri kadar zarar verdik. Artık yalan yok.
Genç çift Güneş’i alnından öptüler. Ve Güneş sevinçle yoluna devam etti. Yaşlı bir teyzenin yanında biraz soluklandı. Tanıyordu bu teyzeyi. İkindi vakitleri yürüyüşe çıkardı, Güneş romatizmalara iyi geliyormuş. Onu yanı başında görünce kadının yüzüne yorgun bir gülümseme yayıldı.
- Nasılsın altın saçlı kuzum!
- Şey. İyiyim siz nasılsın romatizmaların nasıl oldular?
- İyi diyeyim yavrum. Zaman nasıl da geçiyor… Bu sabah yürüyüşe çıkmadım bile. Artık eskisi kadar kuvvetim yok.
Ellerinden öptü teyzeyi ve gitti. Şairi bulmalı, ona her şeyi anlatmalıydı. Şair’i not defterinin yanında buldu.
- Şair… Bak ben geldim!
- Güneş… Bende tam senden söz ediyordum.
- Biliyorum. Çöldeki aşıkların yakıp kavurduğumu yazacaktın değil mi?
- Evet. Birbirlerine kavuşamadan senin ateşinle öleceklerdi. Ama sen buradasın ve ben hala hayattayım. Sanırım şiiri değiştirmem gerekecek!
Ona uzanan hiçbir el yanmıyordu artık, hiçbir sevgi buhar olup uçmuyordu. O kadar mutluydu ki! Bütün gezegenler kıskanacaktı onu şimdi. Artık o da dokunabiliyordu yüreklere.
Güle oynaya giderken AŞK’a rastladı. Görünce biraz telaşlandı. Ürkek seyretti.Ağır ağır yaklaşıyordu kendisine. Bir adım, bir adım daha… İçi korkuyla doldu Güneş’in. Yüzyıllarca hiçbir şey kendisine bu kadar yaklaşamamıştı ki! Yaklaşan her şeyde ya buhar olmuş ya kül ol muştu. Bir adım daha… İşte şimdi tam karşısındaydı. Gözlerinin içine bakıyor, gülümsüyordu! Mars, Jüpiter, Ay… Hepsi heyecanla onu izliyorlardı. Aşk Güneş’e elini uzattı. Güneş kendi ateş topu eline baktı önce, tereddüt etti… Cesaretle tuttu eli… Mars, Jüpiter, Ay… Hepsi alkışlamaya başladılar. Çimenlerdeki çocuklarda alkışlıyorlardı, tepede oturan genç aşıklar alkışladılar, yaşlı teyze son gücünü alkışlamak için kullanıyordu, Şair kalemini bırakıp alkışlamaya koyuldu, çöldeki aşıklar da alkışladılar onu Şair’in şiirinden.
Güneş’in kalbi yerinde fırlayacak gibi atıyordu. Ne mutluydu! Sevginin parlak gözlerine bakıp, başını rahatça yaslayabileceği, başını yaslayıp sonsuza dek huzur bulabileceği yüreği bulmuştu. Dokunuyordu yok etme korkusu olmadan! Kalbi coştu, ruhunu tutabilene aşk olsun! Yüreği özgürlükle, aşkla kabardı…
Uyanıverdi aniden… Sığındığı gölgeler ve herşey cayır cayır yanıyordu....
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